Positivity is key

It was hard for me to stay positive at times. Especially at some points in my life when things just felt hopeless. So how did I become a positive person? Well first I just changed my mindset and aspect of life. See you’re the only person in your life who is capable to change the story of your LIFE. Trust me everyone have their days but you make sure you don’t dwell on them. Don’t feed that negativity. It’s about that comeback after those dark days. You fall down 9 times but get back up the 10th. You just have to train your mind to make you feel as if you’re capable to do anything in life. To even be happy. 

I used to wake up some morning. Get up and ready for school but I always felt down. I wasn’t motivated really. So I just stayed home and slept all day. I just kept feeding that negative energy and it got to the point where I didn’t want to leave my room. I didn’t want to be apart of the outside world. I was just sleeping to get by my days and my depression.  Deep down I knew I wanted to change. But it was just so hard when all I felt was despair. One day my mom had to enroll me back to school because of how many days I missed. April 22, 2018.  That was the day I knew I really had to change and  get my life back together. I went back into school. Took me a journey but I finished. 

Your mental health is just as important as your physical health. Never forget that. What helped me throughout that whole journey was just staying positive everyday. Just getting up and going. Training my mind to stay positive so I won’t fall back into that hole I was once in. At times I do feel as if I’m falling back in. I still have my days where my mind is filled with negativity. But the next day I wake up and it’s a new day. Blank page. Fresh start. Time to continue the story. 

Also, momentum and consistency played a big role. As I wake up every day I had a goal within myself. I made sure to always feel proud of myself for getting up out bed and chasing a goal. I did it everyday to the point where my mind just became so adjusted to the hustle and commitment. Having a positive mindset towards things will always everything in life much easier. You realize how valuable time is. How life is. You become much more appreciative. But most important happy. 

Some of you might be going through a dark time in your life and you might be looking for a light to help guide you through. Hopefully this could be that light. No matter what punches life tries to throw at you. Counter it and swing right back. Why? Because you’re capable to do anything in life. Continue to spark that fire in you so the whole world can see your brightness. 

A heartache unlike no other

My first experience with death was with my father. I was only about 2 years old when it happened and I didn’t know much about it or him. The only clear memory I had of him was his funeral. I just remember being carried by my oldest brother. Staring at him in his all white suit and watching people place a red rose on him. I remember having my red rose in my hand and just placing it right on his chest. I was 2 years old and that was my final goodbye of my father. I remember seeing the flame of the cremation. I had no clue of what have just happened. I wish he was still here. I wish he could’ve taught me how to become a man. The pain of him leaving didn’t really hit me until I got older. But from just hearing all these cool and funny stories about him. How good of a guy he was. How much my mother loved him. I knew he was a great guy. Sad that I couldn’t experience any of that love.

The next person who I lost that really impacted my life was my mother. She was the most important person in my life. She made sure I kept going. She sacrificed so much for me and my family. Survived a whole genocide while taking care of her younger brothers. This woman strength was unlike any other. The day I lost her. I lost a piece of myself. I felt like a big chunk of my heart was gone. Some nights I used to wake up crying because of how much I missed her. This pain hit different. A mother’s love isn’t like any other. I wish she was able to see me graduate. I wish I could’ve bought that house for her sooner. I wish she was still here. But things happen for a reason. Even though she’s not here anymore I know she’s in a better place. A place where there’s no more struggle and suffering. That’s why I can’t be selfish or mad because the way we was living. The way we had to grow up. I wouldn’t want that for her anymore.

People say death leaves a heartache unlike no other and sadly it’s the truth. It’s hard picturing a life without someone you love. Someone you seen almost everyday.

So how do we get over losing a loved one? I realized. You don’t. Some days may be harder than other days because you might miss them a little more. From my experience with it. I know that physically they aren’t here anymore. But spirituality they will always be inside my heart and watching over me. Sometimes you have to let them know that you’re okay. Accept the fact that physically they aren’t with you anymore. They say when you go into a garden you try and pick out the most beautiful flower there. I try to believe that’s why God decided to take those we loved. 

If you’re reading this and you ever lost a love one. Just know they always looking down on you. Watching over your shoulder and always in your heart. All you have to do is live on for them and keep making them proud. There’s going to be the days where you miss you them physically. Days where all you want is a hug or just a conversation with them. Those days are where you become even stronger. Everything that happens in life is for a reason. You might not know that reason right then and there. But when you continue to grow it’s going to hit you. Continue to be great for those you love and for those that loved you.