Loving you

That four letter word can get tricky at times. But that’s when you live and learn. I had a couple of bad experiences and some grateful experiences with it. But I don’t regret anything that happened throughout the past because at the end of it I’ve grown more within myself. This part of the obstacle helped me with the self love relationship with myself. 

I wasn’t really into relationships until I was in high school. Those high school days were one of my difficult yet most blessed experiences in my life. I was young and just chasing after someone to love me. I always tried to be the good guy or a person someone could lean on. But it was so difficult to be a good guy when people just kept taking advantage of how kind you was. Especially when you have friends telling you that person isn’t no good but you don’t care because you always try to see the best in a person no matter what. I learned my lesson the hard way. But still I wouldn’t be where I am without it. 

    

Going through those things in high school kind of just mixed together with my depression and just made me even more sad. I would just be up on a school night questioning my self worth. Again I thought how can I love myself if no one else can? So here’s me doing the same thing I did in the past and stay being the nice guy. Hoping that person would notice and stop trying to go for jerks and dickheads. But no, the same things just keep happening. At this point I’m tired of it all. I was tired of giving a mile for someone who would only give a footstep. 

You’ll think I learned my lesson of not falling in love to easy the second time. Nope. Here I am falling for someone again. I think I get attached to easily, that was just something I was learning more and more about myself. It’s one of those things you have to learn to change about yourself. I had to change the way I carried myself. Made sure to not give up on myself so easily because deep down I know I didn’t take a loss. They did. I know anyone would be lucky to have a person like me. Call me selfish but I call it confidence. It took me a lot of late nights and bike rides with my best friends to find out that. They made sure I knew what my worth was and For that I’m forever thankful. you might not see it in yourself but other people do. You’re special and you’re wonderful in your own ways. If the one person you want can’t see that then they aren’t the right one for you.

All it takes is for one person to see that beauty in you. Guess what? I think I found that someone. Here comes along that someone who is funny, smart, unique and beautiful. But most importantly, someone who showed me the beauty of life. I tell her this every chance I can. She is a big reason I am alive today. Any battle I faced in life she was right next to me and I made sure to do the same thing for her. She saved me man. she made me learn how to love myself first, and most important she showed me the light in that darkness. Trust me our relationship isn’t perfect but I wouldn’t replace her for anyone in the world. That’s why I don’t regret anything that happened in the past because I wouldn’t be with who I am right now. Love was just a word until she showed me the meaning of it. In the end I look at it as if God sent her into my life because he knew I needed saving. So I look at her as an angel in disguise sent from above. We’ve been together for almost 4 years and I wouldn’t trade those years back for anyone. 

If you’re experiencing some difficulties with love. Don’t rush anything. When the time is perfect, that perfect someone will come. Don’t acknowledge anyone who doesn’t see the real 

Beauty in you. You have to learn to love yourself. In order to love others.
Thank you for taking the time out to continue reading my blogs. Your love don’t go unnoticed.